..vs Biochemistry

or

Definitive proof that 11 > 9

In a desperate attempt to somehow make the connection between biochemistry and a cricket match report I have descended to reading Wikipedia on my smart-phone on the 5.15 to Kings Cross. I can’t find anything even slightly tenable so will just go for an embellished round-up with some elementary maths. Apologies to any biochemists (and to be honest, anyone) reading this.

The now traditional desperate plea for players on a Wednesday morning was valiantly answered to produce a full team of cricketing experts… for the biochemistry team, who were able to field a full 11 for the first time this season! Unfortunately for the colossi of Zootallurgy CC we numbered only 9.

Matt took the approach that with fewer fielders their batsmen would be more likely to get out playing shots and decided to field first. Tidy opening spells from Captain Matt and Ullassa saw the opposition at an almost run-a-ball 37-1 off six overs with their handy looking opener done in flight by a Chandler slow ball (imagine Steve Harmison’s at Edgbaston in 2005 only 10 times slower). Paul and Alex were the change bowlers, each keeping a decent off-side line to rid the opposition of a batsman caught by Anthony at gully (so far so good for the fielding plan). However the Biochemistry number 3 played himself in and began to accelerate the scoring on his way to 60*: 7-an-over, 9-an-over even 14-an-over (off Anthony who in fairness bowled 4 other excellent overs including a maiden) all left us looking at a large total.

Unfortunately a fielding plan inviting the hit, invites hits and with gaps in the field we were successfully hut (? my past tenses escape me), ending a solid bowling performance at 147-4.

The other shortcoming of having 9 players is that you can only afford to lose 8 wickets. Not normally a problem in a 20 over match but that was not taking the 11 demon bowlers biochemistry brought along into account. The handy opening batsman (Maneesh) turned out to be an equally handy, if not handier, opening bowler getting prodigious swing off a 2 step run-up. It was his cat-like reflexes that brought a sharp c&b to dispense with Alex from the unfamiliar position of number 2 batsman, ending a quick-fire 11.

Simon (ignoring Matt’s unintended emasculation via email) showed he still had some fight and rained a couple of lovely blows on the other opening bowler (on his way to 15) including his obligatory straight 6, unfortunately followed up by his undoing from a gem (from Maneesh) that he admits he couldn’t have stopped had he seen the delivery in advance.

Paul fell foul of the increasingly spirited biochemistry attack, bowled by the change bowlers for 1 and was soon followed by Bill (5), Mike (0) and Oskar (0) – Paul is now 2-1 behind in his running battle with Oskar on batting scores. All four were undone by a combination of excellent line, length, turn, superb close fielding and scoreboard pressure.

Thankfully, to save our blushes, the tail wagged and Ullassa matched his bowling prowess with some excellent (if massively leg-side biased) swings of his bat (finishing 39*), the highlight being a steepling hook shot into the arms of Maneesh at deep backward square leg (where else) who toppled over the boundary rope to return a second 6 of the innings. So one-sided (on-sided?) was Ullassas play, that against a slow right-armer even KP would have been impressed with the footwork to run around several deliveries well outside off, only to miss the attempted on-side slogs (nearly getting out on 2 occasions). Anthony played a cautious innings for 6 and Matt saw the last few deliveries for an average-enhancing 2*, leaving us a few short at 86-7.

The run-chase never quite got going, but against a full side with some pretty fearsome bowling and fielding talent on show there was no disgrace in coming up second-best on this occasion. More worrying was that upon leaving the changing rooms we found our position as ‘winners-of-the-party’ under threat by their entire team sat in the club-room enjoying a cold beverage. C’mon guys get with the programme!

In conclusion 86-7 < 147-4 and 9 < 11…