vs Cambridge Assessment

The chance of a match seemed a distant dream on Monday, but Mother Nature intervened to delay the incoming storm. Perhaps next time we can request she delay it for a couple more hours?. It was dry, but not warm, and the sky was full of clouds. Nine brave men gathered at St Catherine’s College sports ground to take on the mighty administrators, the Sir Humphrey Appleby and Bernard Wooley of the exams world.

A lost toss resulted in Zoots batting first, in conditions that were challenging for batting and soon to deteriorate. Out strode Simon and Alex to begin the onslaught. And an onslaught it was for two overs, until a grass-cutter took out Simon’s wickets. Despite swinging the bat as Conan the Barbarian would swing an axe, Alex followed soon, and Zoots were 2 down. Captain Matt valiantly blocked and ducked, but he was soon heading back to the pavilion.

To stem the collapse Zoots sent out TV’s Bill Amos, and new man Anthony. With playing styles taken directly from the Geoffrey Boycott Encyclopaedia of how not to get out, these wily soldiers proceeded to defy the Exam’s bowling attack, frustrating the opposition ball after ball. However, this could not last forever, and both departed in quick succession.

With just a few overs to go it fell to Ullasa “I only score on the leg side” and Paul “I only score on the off side” to pile on the runs. Such a deadly combination flummoxed the opposition, making the setting of a field nigh on impossible. Scoring freely on the skiddy wicket, Ullasa pulled and hooked his way to a fine 20no, whilst Paul managed a decent 11 despite falling over more times than the entire Spanish team did in Euro 2012. Zoots posted a defendable 72 off their 20 overs.

 

Opening the bowling for Zoology was Captain Matt, and although the increasingly heavy rain and puddles did not slow him down, he was unfortunate not to take a wicket. At the other end, Paul’s straight and slow bowling proved deadly, and two of the finest bureaucrats in East Anglia returned to the pavilion.

 An over of sublime variation from Ullasa was punished by the opposition, who were closing in on victory. A change of bowling brought Anthony L. on, and a deceptively quick low full toss was edged and finely caught by the Zoots own Jonty Rhodes, diving to his right at Gully. Zoots were on a roll, could an unlikely victory be gained? Alas no, as a few quick singles and a 4 by the home captain brought the match to an end. Some fine individual performances did not bring a victory, but many positives can be taken from this match played in the rain.

..vs Biochemistry

or

Definitive proof that 11 > 9

In a desperate attempt to somehow make the connection between biochemistry and a cricket match report I have descended to reading Wikipedia on my smart-phone on the 5.15 to Kings Cross. I can’t find anything even slightly tenable so will just go for an embellished round-up with some elementary maths. Apologies to any biochemists (and to be honest, anyone) reading this.

The now traditional desperate plea for players on a Wednesday morning was valiantly answered to produce a full team of cricketing experts… for the biochemistry team, who were able to field a full 11 for the first time this season! Unfortunately for the colossi of Zootallurgy CC we numbered only 9.

Matt took the approach that with fewer fielders their batsmen would be more likely to get out playing shots and decided to field first. Tidy opening spells from Captain Matt and Ullassa saw the opposition at an almost run-a-ball 37-1 off six overs with their handy looking opener done in flight by a Chandler slow ball (imagine Steve Harmison’s at Edgbaston in 2005 only 10 times slower). Paul and Alex were the change bowlers, each keeping a decent off-side line to rid the opposition of a batsman caught by Anthony at gully (so far so good for the fielding plan). However the Biochemistry number 3 played himself in and began to accelerate the scoring on his way to 60*: 7-an-over, 9-an-over even 14-an-over (off Anthony who in fairness bowled 4 other excellent overs including a maiden) all left us looking at a large total.

Unfortunately a fielding plan inviting the hit, invites hits and with gaps in the field we were successfully hut (? my past tenses escape me), ending a solid bowling performance at 147-4.

The other shortcoming of having 9 players is that you can only afford to lose 8 wickets. Not normally a problem in a 20 over match but that was not taking the 11 demon bowlers biochemistry brought along into account. The handy opening batsman (Maneesh) turned out to be an equally handy, if not handier, opening bowler getting prodigious swing off a 2 step run-up. It was his cat-like reflexes that brought a sharp c&b to dispense with Alex from the unfamiliar position of number 2 batsman, ending a quick-fire 11.

Simon (ignoring Matt’s unintended emasculation via email) showed he still had some fight and rained a couple of lovely blows on the other opening bowler (on his way to 15) including his obligatory straight 6, unfortunately followed up by his undoing from a gem (from Maneesh) that he admits he couldn’t have stopped had he seen the delivery in advance.

Paul fell foul of the increasingly spirited biochemistry attack, bowled by the change bowlers for 1 and was soon followed by Bill (5), Mike (0) and Oskar (0) – Paul is now 2-1 behind in his running battle with Oskar on batting scores. All four were undone by a combination of excellent line, length, turn, superb close fielding and scoreboard pressure.

Thankfully, to save our blushes, the tail wagged and Ullassa matched his bowling prowess with some excellent (if massively leg-side biased) swings of his bat (finishing 39*), the highlight being a steepling hook shot into the arms of Maneesh at deep backward square leg (where else) who toppled over the boundary rope to return a second 6 of the innings. So one-sided (on-sided?) was Ullassas play, that against a slow right-armer even KP would have been impressed with the footwork to run around several deliveries well outside off, only to miss the attempted on-side slogs (nearly getting out on 2 occasions). Anthony played a cautious innings for 6 and Matt saw the last few deliveries for an average-enhancing 2*, leaving us a few short at 86-7.

The run-chase never quite got going, but against a full side with some pretty fearsome bowling and fielding talent on show there was no disgrace in coming up second-best on this occasion. More worrying was that upon leaving the changing rooms we found our position as ‘winners-of-the-party’ under threat by their entire team sat in the club-room enjoying a cold beverage. C’mon guys get with the programme!

In conclusion 86-7 < 147-4 and 9 < 11…

vs. Sanger

Match report: Zootallargy v/s Sanger, 26 June, Queens College Sports Ground

The day before the game 5 players had signed up and Matt sensibly sent out a mail saying we might need a few more to make a game out of it. I was about to head to the streets looking out for subcontinental faces, but a couple of my Indian friends (Satish & Mahanth) called in the nick of time to say they could play. Meanwhile Antony, our new Zoology recruit, chatted up a couple of random blokes who had heard about the game called cricket (Tom and Ani) and signed them up, bringing the team total to 10. We reached Queens ground with grey skies threatening to rain and hearts filled with sadness at the loss of Simon Baxter. Matt won the toss and cleverly opted to field first, knowing that batting has always been Zootallurgy's strength. As luck would have it, it started raining just before the scheduled start of play. Not knowing who was playing for which team, we got around to socializing with friends and foes alike to while away time. The rains eased by about 6:17, Tom bowled a few on the pitch, and having confirmed they bounced above knee height, a 16-over-aside game was decided upon. Perhaps Captain Matt Chandler's crystal ball told him something about events to unfold, for he had changed into The Official Zoology Captain's Vest, sponsored by Ramraj Banian Co, in tune with their motto.

With sawdust liberally sprinked on the pitch in places where I normally never place my foot, I opened the show gingerly from the road-opposite end, beginning with a full toss that was dispatched for a couple. The new ball now looked like it had been rescued from drowning. After some heavy duty wiping, I decided to use the pitch the next ball, and banged it in short, which went 2 meters above the batsman. As the next ball was hooked away to the boudary with ease, the ominous signs of erratic bowling brought an audible hush to the field. Luckily things improved with the tighter second over Matt bowled from the road end. Beating the bat with some good deliveries now and then, and mixing them up with rank bad short balls, I managed to prise out the freely scoring opener who was caught behind deftly by our debutant wicket-keeper Alex Eggeman. He was replaced (not Alex, the batsman) by a Herschelle Gibbs look-alike. What with the wet ball and slippery run-ups, the bowling was less tidy than usual, but Matt was the better of the two openers and ended up with 4-0-22-0, whereas I got 4-0-28ish-1. The opposition were 54-1 at the halfway stage.

FACT 1: The throw from mid off to try and run Herschelle Gibbs out was hurled in at 103.96 mph. Having valiantly stopped it with my heel and nonchalantly continued discharging my cricketing duties for the rest of the day, I feel considerably more stupid the next morning limping around like the three-legged camel in children's movies.

Matt played by the rules and refused to let me bowl after my quota of 4 overs. In came debutant Antony as replacement. His left-arm bowling was fiercely quick, but otherwise in similar vein to that of mine wrt mixing up full tosses, bouncers, peaches, plums, etc. Antony later informed me he was out of practice; with a little of this in his arsenal, he will surely serve Zootallurgy well. Welcome Antony! The batsmen respectfully defended or got beaten by the good ones and dispatched the crap ones, as they had been doing the whole day. If we thought Antony was quick, Tom was even quicker, much more accurate and was by far the best bowler of the day. He ripped out wickets at regular intervals, clean bowling his first three victims.

FACT 2: We all know Matt Chandler is retiring at the end of the season to join the circus. He did treat us to his juggling skills before finally taking a catch to give Tom his fourth wicket.

Simon Martin took a stunning low catch in the deep for Tom's fifth wicket to end the opposition innings at 105. Tom got 5 for 15 or so, not sure what Antony got. Extras and overthrows were quite a few, none of which detracts from Eggeman's fine performance behind the stumps, though.

Opening the innings with the calm, composed, and technically sound Ani, Simon seemed to want to end our innings inside 5 overs. The first couple of overs from their opening bowlers were tight, with no looseners and hardly a bad delivery. But the looseners arrived belatedly in the third over and Simon took full toll by smashing 6 4 2 4 1 4 in the next deliveries he faced. I have been told the bat he used has a lot of dead spots, but Simon surely had a horrendous time finding them. The six he hit was his second in as many games, and the only ones I have seen on this ground. His knock of 32 from 19 balls was ended by a fine yorker from the opposition captain (or was it one of those dead spots?). Ani by that time had kept him good company and had got out to one that kept low. Mahanth replaced Ani and got a few useful runs, but skied one only to find the single person in the opposition team selected for fielding skills - Herschelle Gibbs.... who looked good enough in the field to catch it with two fingers.

Meanwhile, Satish had come in after Simon's exit, joined shortly after by one of the all time cricketing greats as far as Sweden is concerned. As the big and mean looking Oskar Brattström took guard (outside offstump, I believe), fielders subconciously dropped deeper. Oskar hammered the ball around, but by some quirk of fate never managed to clear either short extra cover or silly mid off. As the first two overs of his tonking didn't cause too much perceptible damage, fielders slowly got bolder and came in. The scorers were on the edge of their seats by now. Eventually Oskar decided he had gotten his eye in, and deftly edged one wide of the keeper to record one of the highest scores by a Sandinavian in the league (although Oskar himself holds the record with a two). He was soon done in by an unplayable beaut - medium pace, keeping straight and bouncing as expected.

Satish looked unflustered from the beginning, rarely getting beaten and kept the score board ticking with some singles. Alex Eggeman, our new keeper-batsman joined him.

FACT 3: Satish ran a single after hitting one down the ground and was called back for a second. Figuring there was plenty of time to get back, he decided to figure skate to his end. The pitch was deceptively flat, and he lost balance midway to land on his ass with a loud thud. The eagle-eyed Eggeman quickly realised the urgency of the situation and suggested he get back on his feet and get back to where he came from. Satish was lightning quick to recover, but alas his attempts to skate back to safety were nullified by another big thud and a direct throw. Moral of the story: Unlike everything else in cricket, a run is called so for a good reason (its not a 'point' as Oskar perseveres to convince us), and other modes of transport egs. walk, skate, crawl, roll, etc are less efficient.

Tom, the all-rounder, joined Alex and they had a productive partnership, keeping the asking rate at around 7. Alex scored freely and made 20 off 15. Things started heating up once Alex decided to get back to the comfort of the pavilion and Antony joined. The light was fading fast, but luckily the pace of their bowlers was fading too. The run rate needed was just a little over run-a-ball, with yours truly and Captain Chandler aka Captain Ramraj aka John Lott padded up. The captain's calm facial composure belied his nerves evidenced by the rhythmic staccatto of his spikes on the floor. The scoreboard was duly updated by Oskar/me after every ball, between balls and before every ball, but the batsman apparently didnt bother looking - they knew exactly what was needed. 20 needed off 3 overs turned to 6 needed off the last over, with Antony on strike. The first ball was a dought. The captain's foot-tapping got quicker.... The second was dispatched behind square leg for four to loud cheering (mainly from our side). And the match was won with three balls to spare afer a two off the next one.

What a game! The first victory of the season. As Eggeman said later in the pub, in keeping with our time-honoured tradition of winning a game every season (at least since I joined), we can now put victory behind us and concentrate on enjoying the remaining games without pressure. To summarize the match, our bowling was a little wayward, but overall pretty decent. The fielding was of good standards throughout and almost all catches were taken, with or without juggling stunts depending on the fielder's career aspirations. Eggeman's keeping was tight, and exceptional for a debutant. All batsman contributed to the score, but the final nerve-wracking partnership between Tom & Antony, the fantastic 32 by Simon, the quickfire 20 by Eggeman and of course the electifying bowling by man-of-the-match Tom were the highlights. Thanks to all our guest stars - Tom, Ani, Satish and Mahanth. If its one thing we have learned, it is that Zoology is unbeatable as long as less than half the team is Zoology-based.

ullasa

..vs Zootallurgy?!

by "ZCC lifetime acheivement award" winner, Simon Baxter:

Match summary; in order of unbelievable cricketing achievement.

1. We won
2. Baxter scored a couple of runs
3. Amos got a hat-trick
4. We lost

Tuesday June 19^th, was arguably the best cricket weather for the year – sunshine, and a light breeze. Coupled with a full and strong Zoots squad, we were set for a competitive match against Chemistry. Alas, their cancellation on match afternoon was a real blow, mostly because we still had to pay the match fee.

With 10 zoots, we turned on a 5v5 game. As for the rules; it was a twenty20 test-match with two innings per side, 10 overs per innings. All non batsman fielded, no umpire and the “out” batsman rotated to keeper. Plus everyone on the bowling team had to bowl two overs per innings. Scoring was by shouting out the cumulative total (hence lack of stats in this report!). Baxter and Chandler were captains – however Baxter had a secret weapon. A Sleeping (occasionally limping) Giant, an untapped resource, A-Master-Of-Sport and honey trap, for buzzing batsman.  

The Baxter Bushrangers were sent into bat, with Baxter scoring an inevitable duck from the third delivery (Chandler). Yet Amos, Eggeman, Kumar and Kodandaramaiah rallied to give a batting average of 18.4 per batsman (including Baxter) and a first inning total of 4/92. Bowling was tight-ish from Chandler, Martin, Grady, Paul and Rutter.

In came the Chandler Challengers. Martin scored plenty of 4’s from Baxter, before being bowled.  with a final score of 3/90, there was only two runs the difference. Everyone batted well.. Martin did hit a massive 6 from Kumar, but wasn’t counted (Bowling was too slow? Too Comic? Wrong arm?)

With the game tighter than ever, Tarun and Ullasa opened, with an unprecedented run rate, for Zoots at least. Eventually one was out and in came Baxter, who amazingly didn’t get a duck, and even ran 4 on the last ball of our innings. We had a total of 4/115, a 20 over total of 207. TWO HUNDRED AND SEVEN.

Some may have thought Baxter opened with Amos bowling to limit, and write-off the damage Chandler Challengers were planning, - Yet, it was time for the ultimate strategy to be revealed. Time for the weapon to be unleashed. First run-out from his bowling, then three astounding, consecutive wickets. Two caught, another bowled. A genuine hat-trick, which is quite impressive when the batting team only has 5 players.   

I would say, this was one of the most enjoyable games I’ve played in my 5 1/2 seasons, apart from the games where the whole team won, of course. The game finished with almost all players in the Granta reflecting and wondering why we can’t score 200 runs every game and why we all can’t bowl like The Professor, William the Conqueror, BILL AMOS!

..vs Molecular Biology

by Simon Martin,

At the captain's request, I have written a molecular-biology-themed match report this week. As it turns out, it is difficult to find parallels between the gentleman's game and the study of proteins and nucleic acids - about as difficult as finding the boundary on a soggy outfield. Nevertheless, after much thought, I have spotted two similarities:

1. Cricket and molecular biology are both hard.
2. Cricket and molecular biology are both filled with silly jargon, making them utterly inaccessible to outsiders.

It is for the latter reason that I do not expect any literary awards for what follows.

On Wednesday 13th June 2012 the men of Zootalurgy CC took on Molecular Biology in a clash of microscopic proportions. Concern among the Zoots at having only 8 players turned to fear when a female duck, slightly golden in colour (a bad omen even to the least superstitious batsman) arrived. Bizarrely, it seemed to be following Baxter around like an antibody clinging to a protein.

The Zoots were first to bat, with Kumar first at the crease and Martin at the other end. The start was a steady one. The soft, damp grass meant that the batsmen had to work for every run, like a trans-membrane sodium-potassium pump, slowly pumping ions against a concentration gradient. Kumar learnt that the best way to make runs was to avoid the grass entirely, sending the ball rocketing to the train tracks. Sadly he was caught out at 13, and the opposition knew that a major threat had been neutralised.

Grady was up next. After a quick start, the heckling from the fielders, which came in an assortment of colonial accents, got to him and he was bowled. Gilliver then came to the crease and battled some impressive spin. The same spinner dispatched Martin for 10. Gilliver followed for 9 not long afterwards, and it felt as though our innings was unravelling like two DNA strands in the presence of a helicase enzyme. But it was then that Captain Chandler stepped up.

Like a lone white blood cell fighting against an army of pathogens, Chandler took whatever they could throw at him. He was helped along the way by a handy 7 by Amos and a quickfire 4 by Chris. Sadly Baxter, clearly shaken by the earlier incident with the duck, fulfilled the prophecy. In the end the Zoots made 79 (or 81), Chandler finishing with 20 not-out.

For the first few overs of the Molecular Biology innings things went swimmingly for the Zoots. Chandler and Gilliver bowled as accurately as restriction enzymes, and the fielders gobbled up every shot like hungry amoebae, leading to three wickets by catches. It felt as though the win was within our grasp.

Sadly, the bacterial colony that was their score moved from the lag phase into the exponential phase and things went downhill quickly. The score started to amplify like DNA in a polymerase chain reaction and and the task soon looked impossible for the Zoots. A final wicket by Grady saved the Zoots' dignity but not the match, and it was all over with 2 overs to go.

The Zoots live to fight again however, having learnt two important lessons: 11 players are better than 8, and waterfowl are to be avoided at all costs before a match.

See you next time,
Simon M

.. vs. Cambridge Assessment

On a pleasant evening Zootalurgy set out to play Cambridge Assessment.  Who are they?  Something to do with exams it was suggested.  Well.. we'd certainly set them a stern test.

After winning the toss our captain opted to bowl first.  To the untrained eye this may have seemed a strange decision for a team with 2 players yet to arrive, but this is the sort of "brave call" leaders of men sometimes have to make..

The match started brightly enough with Kond Kod Kooda Kodandana Ullassa passing the bat several times and bowling at a good pace.  Apart from a few "pitched up" deliveries which were no balled, he bowled a tidy spell (0-25 off 4).  From the other end Matt was bunging his medium pacers in short, and nicked a few wickets as the openers both mistook long hops for half volleys.  2-20 off 4 was his reward.

We saw the spin stylings of Tarun for an over.  It was quite uneventful (0-16)

As Alex came on as first change, the opposition were warming up.  Good line and length bowling (interespersed with the occasional massive wide), and terrific fielding from Simon "Bambi on ice" Martin kept the run rate low(ish), and he finished on 0-30 off 4.  From the other end Simon Baxter(0-36 off 3) bowled a great first over, but the batsmen were gaining confidence and started reaching the boundary with alarming regularity.  Stephen "Brady" Grady and Simon Martin took the death overs, got bugger all luck, and finished on 0-22 off 2 and 0-20 off 2 respectively. Cambridge Assessments finished on 176.  Easy!

After seeing Tarun smash 14 off the first over, the sight of him getting bowled for a quickfire 16 must have been a hell of a relief for the opposition.  Simon M batted well to keep the runs flowing for a while and hit a memorable lofted drive back over the bowler's head on his way to 20 runs.

Unfortunately that was pretty much the end of our resistance.  Bill pulled a couple of 4s over extra cover(!), but noone else passed 3 runs.  This all happened in a bit of a blur, but I have to mention Mike's wicket.  We all know that its important to keep as still as possible as the bowler releases the ball, but Mike took this to new heights, getting bowled without making the slightest movement towards the ball.  This was because the bowler was now releasing the ball from directly in front of the low evening sun.  Bad luck, Mike!

See you all next match for a famous victory

.. vs. Engineering

Zootallurgy vs Engineering

At first glance, when a player who scores 1, takes no wickets or catches is named man of the match it could be mistaken for poor standard of cricket at Zoots. However, if you scratch beneath the surface there were some decent performances this week for Zoots.

Having won the toss (I think) Zoots elected to bat first. Not displaying the normal killer streak captain Matt make the commendable decision to loan the opposition some fielders. Would this kindness come back to haunt Zoots if match became nail-biting? You will find out later. With Captain Grady turning up late Saf Akram and Paul Gilliver marched out to face the best of Engineering. Despite some resilient blocking and missing both fell within 4 overs to the deadly inswing of the Engineering opener. In marched Captain “I don’t do defensive” Grady and Simon Martin. Both set about putting some scores on the board with some fine running between the wickets. Alas, Grady hit out and departed for a short sharp sweet 15. In came Simon Baxter, the clone of Simon Martin for this poor scorer, only distinguishable by the black stripe on the former’s pads. Again, some fine shots that deserved better, plenty of running and the 50 almost up before both fell in quick succession. With 5 down a tail-guard action was required, and up stepped Dan Garson and Oskar Brattstrom. Both titans of cricket vowed to set personal best scores for Zoots, and both did with Oskar scoring a magnificent 2, with Dan chipping in with a tidy 36 not out. Joined at the end by the ever energetic runner Ullasa the men from Zoots scored a fine 108 off the 20 overs.

With a defendable target set the team from batsmen from engineering took to the piece.  With Stu and Ullasa opening the bowling with pace chances appeared, although vital catches were dropped. Both openers scored steadily and punished the bowlers at times, and despite regular bowling changes and the best efforts of the Zoots bowlers, wickets were not earned. Both openers retired, however, the second line of players were equally adept, and engineering cruised to victory with 8 overs to spare.

The bright spirits of Zoots were battered but not defeated, and a trip to the pub perked up the team as always. Same time next week gents.

by Paul Gilliver

.. vs. Perse School

Zootallurgy Season Opener: How Many Wickets in Five Balls?!

Opposition: The Perse School

By Stephen Grady

As I sit here (on Tuesday 22^nd May) drinking the delicate notes of a first mid-spring Pimms, one could be mistaken that these late afternoon warming glances of a southerly breeze whisper the first signs of a glorious summer. Indeed, one could certainly be easily mistaken that these are the first signs of what seemed to be a spring that would never arrive. Not so really, in fact it was a cool grey evening last Thursday 17^th May that really got the Cambridge spring/summer season off to a fine (if not quite sublime) start. Zootallurgy finally started their season with an away match at The Perse School. It was Teachers (and the groundsman) vs. Men (or Zootallurgists – a strange sub-race; almost albino).

Tarun did his best to disrupt the start (and the nerves of the narrator) by turning up after the new skipper (Chandler) had elevated Grady from 3 to opening the batting with Baxter. Baxter-Grady – what an opening combination...Greenwich and Haynes came to mind...? Baxter talked a mentally strong approach in the walk to the crease. Baxter ‘mis-judged’ the second delivery and was duly given his orders lbw. The unfortunate nature of the amateur game is you have to make those tricky umpiring decisions against your own team mates, this time Chandler dismissing Baxter...Baxtor duly returned the favour later on in the innings to the skipper! Guys – let’s face it, it’s better to get rid of all this nonsense at the start of the season!!! Gilliver and Grady set out with some consistent scoring for the next seven overs. Grady’s first four scoring shots all reaching the boundary (one eloquently clipped of his toes behind backward square). Gilliver fencing off a lot of the probing attack and hitting the loose ones into the gaps with ease. Grady bowled by the new spinner’s first ball (21)! Tarun (errr, the opener to the crease). After a couple of dot balls, Tarun proceeded to score runs off each delivery until he was out. It wasn’t that long an innings but it was captivating. After a late flurry Gilliver succumbed to the sounds of the stumps rattle (16). Ryan opening his account for Zootallugy took one on the chin “metaphorically” for his team and then walked back to the pavilion – more determined to put the record straight next game. The narrator had gone into umpire. Almost immediately, out of the meat of the bat Tarun lauched an almighty six from the last ball of the 12^th over over mid wicket. It was a thunderous hit and took everyone by surprise (and possibly even the orchestrator of such a shot!?).

By this time Bill had come to the crease. His scoring in the score book reads like an excited Morse code message. Lots of dots early on but he certainly then started to dash through his innings. At some point soon after Tarun was caught (can’t remember where) but a super little innings of 16 came to an end. Pity. The skipper joined Bill. Bill had clearer intimated to me before the game that he was reluctant to play and a severe doubt for this game due to a multitude of injuries and long term aches and pains. Well Bill set out on a complete mission to dislodge the confidence of the bowlers and succeeded. Facing 31 balls, after a couple of unorthodox early defensive blocks, a fantastic knock of 25 was made, top scoring for Zoots. It was the running between the wickets that impressed so much,and caused Chandler a lot of difficulty in keeping pace with the quick calling and extra runs when mis-fields started to occur. Bill showed a style of cricket rarely displayed by the team – precise, patient and assured. Matt pulled a fine four through mid-wicket. Not recalling the sequence of the fall of wickets Bill succumbed, given his fine batting, in the only way possible – via a run-out. A mis-judged call was quickly reversed, a lack of spikes and a dramatic slip “oh shit” meant there was no way back. Chandler was lbw for 8 and Stu played three fantastic defences pushes and misses to ensure our new team mates both felt safe on 0! Plenty of chances to improve their averages then. Eggeman and Michael (a Perse sixth-former) added two a piece before Alex was our last man out. We had almost achieved our first target to bat out the 20 overs (only 3 balls short). With a total of 108 and extras (18) only being the third best score, we were happy with a solid first batting performance of the season.

Perse were a good team. They had narrowly beaten Physics the evening before scoring about 165. Zoots set to the field with quite a spring. With only 9 in the field we had to rely on accurate bowling to stifle the scoring and control the batting response. Unfortunately ‘Roots’, Perse’s opening batsmen manoeuvred his confidence with the bat with flowing ease. Bowling was accurate and quick, but 12 off the first 3 balls meant we were already up against it. Trying to set either a 5 vs. 2 or a 4 vs. 3 field placing meant there were plenty of holes and the openers were able to exploit. Despite solid bowling Perse were 49 off four overs! Yikes! Eggeman and Chandler (0-24-2) both trying valiantly to assert some control. What was evident was that heads were high and Zoots were still buzzing for a turn around in fortunes. New team mate Stu was given the first bowling change What he lacked in sheer pace was made up for with clinical accuracy and the run rate was stemmed – promising start to his new summer pursuit having “not played for quite a few years”. It didn’t show. At the other end Eggeman (0-34-4) was starting to eek a few half chances, and in each of his final two overs there were good chances to get the two openers out but alas the catches that win the matches weren’t quite taken. The Perse opener decided his day was done, when he retired on 52 no (gracious). McLean (the other opener) was at the same time starting to catch his timing and was moving through his 20s. As the sun slid towards the distant horizon we were warmed by the sight of lengthened shadows. Effectively Perse were 97-0 (with one retirement). Hmmmm.

With the missed chances and no wickets down it was looking difficult, but then at the end of the 11^th over all excitement started to break loose. Stu took the first two wickets of Zoots 2012 season in successive balls (balls 5 and 6 of the over) clean bowling the numbers 3 and 4 batsmen. Hatrick ball next over when retuning after Baxter’s second over!!! Baxter (1-15-2) ‘wade’d in to the wicket rush and bowled number 5 with some tricky flight and variation of pace. Remember that one Simon when you’re returned home! Next over – hatrick ball...

***“Beer festival interrupted play....err, I mean the report”

Resumption of the report...

Stu looked up for it and the field gathered closely around the batsman. Anticipation and the breeze even lulled. Dot ball! Sighs all round. The batsman puffed his chest and thought that was it...he had survived! But, next ball Stu started to weave his magic again and took this third wicket in four balls...another bowled. We celebrated like it was a hatrick! (NB this batsman was the groundsman who would know the crease down to every blade of grass so quite a coup). The next Perse batman came in...”what’s going on mate?!”. Slightly rattled! Next ball – plumb lbw middle stump!!!! We were now in disarray. This was getting a little crazy. In five balls at one end, four wickets had tumbled...the Zootallurgy record books were being re-written after every ball bowled. We were now grasping the second opportunity of a hatrick...The Zoots crowded round the bat, barely allowing enough room for the batsman to make a swing. All Cambridge went silent...run up...warming the hands...watching the flight...Stu (4-21-5) just drifted one down past leg stump and the chance passed again. What a sequence...

Gilliver and Grady took the next two overs...and tried valiantly to continue this incredible sequence, but a few near misses of the wickets and a flurry of shots from McLean (42) and Goodson (4) edged the opposition past the Zootallurgy total (111-5). In a way it felt like a victory for both. The score book for the Perse Batsman reads 52, 42 (no), 0, 0, 0, 0, 4. Four noughts in a row...very special.

There was some excellent fielding, exuberant calling (clearly Alex led the whoops of delight and despair!), and we celebrated with the opposition in The Salisbury Arms in suitable fashion. It was a great start to the cricket season. Well played chaps and let’s hope for an equally enjoyable game this week and a fine season. Form suggests we might win one or come mighty close.

Man of the match: Stu for his incredible effort of 4 wickets in 5 balls. Closely behind him was Bill for his superb quarter of a century. Matt started brightly as the new Captain. A good all round performance! With a full team we might be invincible!